she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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