forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize