He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
