Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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