U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think people are normalizing furries
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just puked most of my soul out..
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
