he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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