Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
