You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize