Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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