Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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