I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Randomize
