We won't sleep together?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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