I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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