Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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