College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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