Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
