she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I will be naked everywhere
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think my moral compass just broke
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
