I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
