yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
