I hope mine doesn't look like that
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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