I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize