my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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