Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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