Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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