let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
