Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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