He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
