As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
