Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize