Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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