Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
