Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
