I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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