I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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