Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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