So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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