We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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