I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
