I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize