My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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