I'm going to jail i love you
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
