We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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