I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize