YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize