I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
