Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
