I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
