There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
