i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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