Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
