If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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