Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
