Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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