NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
