She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
