you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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