Just fell off a train. Bad.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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