my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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