there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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