why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
