oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
