No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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