Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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