There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
