would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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