Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
