Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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