I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
