white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
