I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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