I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Fuck appropriateness.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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