1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
